Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
