his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
