so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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