Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I could make wine with my vomit
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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