Where did you get a picture of my penis
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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