i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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