Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just found a bag of teeth...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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