Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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