Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
