Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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