I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
