FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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