Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
