You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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