summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
