Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
