i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
