So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
