If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
