He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
