dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize