were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
