WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
