the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
