So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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