so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
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i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
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If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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