it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
