maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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