Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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