No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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