i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
