It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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