walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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