this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
