Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
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she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
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Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize