I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
