Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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