I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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