Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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