Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
