Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
