My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
