This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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