there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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