What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
