I will die if light touches me.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
