Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
how does that bad decision feel?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
