i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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