I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize