that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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