Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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