i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
