I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
