ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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