Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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