I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
