I hate all girls vehemently.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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