i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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