You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
