there were more penises there than on chat roulette
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
