no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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