can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
