butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
