My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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