If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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